Why You Keep Getting Stuck in the Same Relations
Most relationship problems feel complex—but they usually follow a pattern.
The issue isn’t just what’s happening between you.
It’s what gets activated inside you when it happens.
A Simple Exercise
Think of your most common relationship conflict.
Now answer the following:
Question 1:
What usually happens in that moment?
(Be specific about what is said or done)
Question 2:
What do you tend to do in response?
(e.g., push, withdraw, explain, shut down, get frustrated, etc.)
Question 3:
If this situation went as badly as possible…
what are you most afraid would happen?
That fear you just identified is likely part of what’s driving the pattern.
And the way you respond to it may be reinforcing the cycle.
This is the starting point of the Deconstructing Relationships approach.